Photophobia

Photophobia
(August 2004/January 2005) © 2005 by Kristi Martel

I saw you watching me,
falling in love with what you called my purity.
I saw your eyes alight with awe turned to envy,
and you fault me.

I heard you cut down a mutual mentor.
She was the reason we met for this joint tour.
I made a mental note I'd be next in line for
this gossip game of yours.

I saw you watching her loving me,
fall from friendly grace to incestuous jealousy.
I saw you despising what you all called my beauty,
and you and you and you blame me.

You must be afraid of your light to so hate mine.
I refuse to diffuse my light to ease your mind.
You must be afraid of your light to so hate mine.
I refuse to diffuse my light to ease your mind.

So why don't you blame me
just like you've always done?
You can just chew me up and spit me out
and call it fun.

Go ahead and blame me.
I won't even call you a liar.
You can just sit up there watching from your
balcony;
let's just hope there's not a fire.

Come on, why don't you blame me
for your insecurity and fear
while I continue to encourage all of you
to be your best and your worst on this stage up here

(called life).

You must be afraid of your light to so hate mine.
I refuse to diffuse my light to ease your mind.
You must be afraid of your light to so hate mine.
I refuse to diffuse my light to ease your mind.